Good Advice from a Friend
Sometimes when things don’t go quite right at work, you need the advice of a good friend or mentor. That’s how watching Sondra Thiederman’s new video feels. In Gateways to Inclusion: Turning Tense Moments into Productive Conversations, Dr. Thiederman introduces skills for transforming negative interactions into positive outcomes.
“Embarrassment, looking like a fool,
feeling like a bad person, anger, resentment.”
Sondra describes the “feelings that can come up when you have a negative encounter, when you hear something offensive, when you’ve said something wrong, or when something you say has been taken out of context. These things get tense. What can you do to turn around situations like these?”….
“If handled properly, these uncomfortable moments — or even small explosions — can be transformed into gateways that will lead to better working relationships, increased understanding, and less tension.” Sondra calls them “Gateway Events”.
Through a series of vignettes showing Gateway Events, Sondra introduces and explores four skills:
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Communicate in a Way that Demonstrates Respect
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The fourth skill — Communicate in a Way that Demonstrates Respect — really resonates with me. Sondra shows how to accept feedback and seek to understand, plus offer an apology when you’ve hurt someone. These are key elements in what I call “Communication Recovery — What to Do When Things Go Wrong.” Check out this scene and Sondra’s advice on a better way to communicate when Connie accuses Henrietta of being sexist and Henrietta rejects Connie’s feedback.
I’ve long been a fan of Sondra’s. When I first began developing and delivering cultural competence training in 1990, it was her work that most inspired me. What I like most about Gateways to Inclusion: Turning Tense Moments into Productive Conversations is the easy-to-use, actionable advice following each scenario.
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